Silly rabbit, films are for Sundance

So, I managed to spend a week at a film festival and not see a single movie! Turns out our group was about the party and not the trade show. I did get a DVD in one gift bag - an Asian horror flick - will be back with a review after I catch up on the Sopranos.

So, back to Ivana. . .

We are walking the [blue] carpet into the amfAR cocktail party; I'm sending all my psychic energy to the hem of my dress willing it not to get caught on the heel of my shoe (Unfortunately I had expended most of my fashion energy earlier when my zipper got stuck while I was dressing. I mean truly stuck. With 4 inches to go. I went to the front desk in search of a stapler and a valium but was saved by a fellow guest and my new best friend, Kinsey from Alaska. More on her later.)

Anyway, I was a bit distracted by the paparazzi - their tonsils, that is, as they yawned while we walked by - and by the potential of tripping so it wasn't until he was right in my face that I recognized Gino (remember our driver from earlier posts?). Somehow he had been picked to be Ivana's escort and came up to us rolling his eyes "Everyone zay are asking who eez zee new boyfriend?*" Poor Gino, mistaken for Ivana's boy toy. All I could think was "how could he cheat on me with someone who's had so much work done?"

We followed Ivana and Gino from the cocktail party into the dinner and I must say he did an excellent job of keeping me from stepping on the pink feathered hem of her gown. I also must say the work she has had done is top notch. She looks pretty dern good.

The highlight of that promenade was meeting Robin Williams. He shook my hand and then I leaned in (or down - pretty sure I was taller in my heels) and whispered that I was a fellow San Franciscan and he gave me a twinkly "go girl." Later when all the women in our group reported being groped by him at the after party, I could stand tall (or at least taller than Robin) and reflect back on our respectful and deep exchange. And realize I can go back and stalk him at home . . .

He helped emcee the auction and was absolutely hilarious!!! I think Henry the movie producer sitting next to me was scared I was going to wet my pants. Thankfully Henry did not mention this to Sharon Stone when she came over to talk with him.

n.b.: I am not taller in my heels (or larger in any visible way) than Sharon Stone.
n.b. encore une fois: The toes on my right foot are still numb 5 days later from said heels.


*Gino is not French, but I swear I heard his accent comme ca.

ANOTHER red carpet

Actually, the carpets here are blue. . . . Sorry for the brief break in postings, beaucoup de craziness to experience and bellinis to drink.

Winning entry to the Ivana's reply contst: From Memphis, TN: "Just a minute, dahlink...I am flushing The Donald's TV career down the potty, be with you shortly."

i couldn't make this up

I know I have a tendency to embellish for the sake of a good story, but I promise these next few posts will be absolutely true. Starting with: a topless Kimora Lee just plopped herself down in the lounge chair I vacated moments ago. (Vacated because it was no longer relaxing to be by the pool listening to a topless Kimora Lee.) All the men in our group have decided to have a snack poolside. curious, that.

The amFAR party last night was absolutely fantastic. I was not seated with Joaquin nor did I see him, but that did not prevent me from having a great time. More later after I get some lunch, but one highlight:

I was in the luxury porta-potty and heard a woman's voice calling, "Ivana? Ivana? IVANA? Is Ivana Trump in there?" I'd like to open up the floor for discussion as to what my clever reply should have been. At the time I knew I was missing an incredible opportunity for humor, but I just couldn't hold the ball gown off the floor and think clearly at the same time. . .

Extended stay

We have decided to extend our stay in the South of France to take in the excitment of the Monte Carlo Grand Prix-as if our two days here were not excting enough between the red carpet and the late night parties. Truth be told I think our new best friend Gino (aka Driver) has talked us into possible permanent residence.Right know its time to get ready for the big blacktie event with Harvey Weinstein,Sharon Stone, Juaquim Phoenix(sp)Roman Planski et al and take part in more absurdity.
We'll see you all when the Money runs out-Au revoir Pierre

on the red carpet

gino

sunset to sunrise

Last night was the Palisades Pictures party at Eden Rock, one of the most beautiful hotels I've ever seen . . . then drinks at Bar Hotel du Cap then dancing at a club in Cannes. Home about half past 6.

Here is a list of people I could have reached out and touched at dinner:
Chloe Sevigny
Kenneth Cole
Harvey Weinstein
Cuba Gooding Jr. (someone needs to show the poor thing some money - he came dressed in jeans and a white undershirt)

Here is a list of people whose armpit sweat is now in my hair:
Wyclef

Oh, and that photo shoot I mentioned? Turns out that was Kimora Lee Simmons. I'll post a photo of the Baby Phat ice sculpture later . . .

OH MY WORD

from now on that is code for:

have a nice dinner at an Italian streetside cafe in Cannes, stroll along La Croisette, stumble upon the red carpet as a film lets out, don't recognize anyone except Gael Garcia Bernal on the projection screen (yes, Bessie, he's here), head to the bar at the Carlton, meet up with our host and his entourage, get whisked past the velvet rope into a VIP table at a club called Nikki, order a magnum of champagne and Grey Goose and wait until they arrive to decide it is too hot in here let's go elsewhere, hop in a Mercedes CLS 500 with new best friend Gino ("zis car is too much tiny for zee vee eye pees") who takes us to Jimmy'z, a bar at a casino on the water where we wait outside briefly for a gorgeous Parisienne woman to arrive and tell the bouncers to let us all in to what turns out to be an unnamed mobile night club from Paris (takes over a different space each year) with completely open bar, thumping dance floor and a roofdeck overlooking the marina. Gino insists I try the signature cocktail which I do . . . until 5:30 am.

cap d'antibes

Hotel is in Cap D'Antibes - out of the fray but did witness a fashion photo shoot poolside today. Headed into Cannes for dinner now. Been practicing how to shoot the camera from the hip.

Arrival

We have arrived safe and sound in the South Of France with swift transport from Gino our driver to the comfortable confines of the Imperial Garoupe Hotel. The only real event of note is the former Mrs. Anderson has successfully changed her name to Mrs. Connolly.
Not to worry Ms. McArtor its only until we successfully sell "The" screenplay!
Stay tuned for updates from the red carpet.

still stateside

Things I'm worried about:
1) Jet Lag. I'm already woozy and I've only made it as far as Dulles
2) Caffeine. I've not had a caffeinated drink since 2005. I'm NOT going to be that girl who orders a decaf in France. Well, at least #1 will be solved.
3) Blog participation. worried that Peter won't post anything because it is pink and girly. Possible redesign coming soon.

Things I'm not worried about:
1) Forgetting my passport. I've checked and rechecked that it is in my bag. Wait . . . where? . . . got to go. . .